I am officially a first-gen college graduate!!!!

Poppin off from college be like....

I officially am a college graduate. Not only did I graduate college but I am also a first-generation student in my family to do so. I have met a huge milestone in my life to be walking out of a four year university, Fresno State, with an undergrad in Liberal Studies and a minor in Media and Communication receiving high honors.

I feel so proud for my accomplishments that I have accomplished these last four years of my life. Although, I feel like it still has yet to hit that I graduated from college in four years while maintaining two jobs and high honors in my classes- sometimes working 50+ hours to bypass paying bills and helping out with my family, I have checked off something that is not common to be done in my family. (Being the second from my family to graduate from a university.)

It was tough and very challenging these last four years.

So many ups and lows. So many mental breakdowns and anxiety attacks hitting me everywhere. I felt like giving up so many times and just leaving everything behind. I felt like I lost my hope and motivation in the middle of it all. I went through what seemed to be like a mid quarter life crisis at age 18 wondering what my purpose in life was- wondering if college was even meant for me.

During these last four years, I continued to struggle with depression and severe anxiety. I struggled with feeling suicidal and hopelessness. I struggled with imagining what my life holds for me because it seemed so dark and shallow through college. So blank and lonely. I did not find my pursuit of happiness nor find enjoyment.

I would remember losing hope that all this was done for nothing, that my hardwork would not pay off at the end because I did not know what my life was to bring.

During these last four years, I continued to struggle with career choice. Should I become a teacher? What about a journalist or filmmaker? I wanted to do so much and I wondered if I was choosing the right path in sticking to Liberal Studies. Was teaching even meant for me?

I went through a depression stage in my third year of college when I realized that I did not want to feel like I was not chasing my dreams of pursuing something that I always wanted to accomplish.

My passion was always in creating content, videos, and photography. I always wanted to pursue something in the creative field and feeling like I was trapping myself in teaching made me feel like I was not living to pursue happiness but setting myself for disappointment.

It took me a while to realize that my life did not have to turn that way and I can choose whatever I want it to be. Therefore, my senior year of college I decided that it was time to create the life I want for myself.

I told myself I would continue and finish what I started to pursue my career in teaching; however, for now I want to pursue my dreams. I want to build my blog and photography business first. Do things I would always push to the side.

Now that I am done with school, I can work on things that I always wanted to.

I can start taking more time to create and write more blogs. I can now start building my business in photography more serious- and more importantly create the content I always wanted to make.

Life does not need to be simple and boring. My life does not have to be so settle to just sticking to one job and career just to get by in life. My life can be created to my own satisfaction. I know I did not spend my last four years for my education to be thrown away.

At the end, I do want to become a teacher because I know that teaching and helping kids is my destination- but for now I have a different story to live.

All my battles I fought through these last 16 years was meant for me to tell a story- and I know that this is just the start of a longer chapter in my life and I can't wait to share it to everyone.

This blog is finally going to be the blog I always wanted it to be.

More importantly, my life is about to bring the best in me and all the wait I continued to deal with is finally paying off.