My 2020 Recap

What a fucking year....

2020 was a messy rollercoaster for all of us.

Here's just a small glance of the horrific year 2020 had been.

Wildfires burning away land and wilderness and killing hundreds of million animals across Australia and California. The passing of Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna. A huge pandemic hit the curves across the world, causing the world to shutdown for most of 2020. Stay at home orders were demanded through the world. COVID-19 killed more than 1 million people worldwide. The impeachment of Donald Trump. Hundred of famous and most popular youtubers stopped vlogging (DAVID DOBRIK! where are you, we miss you :( ). A rise of protests aroused through historical events: the murder of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor... (way more victims) to bring the action of Black Lives Matter. Another wave of COVID-19 arrived. Joe Biden was elected as the new president of the United States. And there is a lot more that occurred.

Here is a complete list that states everything that occurred in 2020, if you are interested in having a full glance of the horrific year that 2020 was.

This is another heartbreaking video that Google made that also shows how awakening and terrible this year. I was in tears watching this video for the first time. So I recommend it, if you have not seen it yet because it is life-changing to see how 2020 really was portrayed. For sure, 2020 will be in historical textbooks in the future.

2020 was really a year for the books.

As much as I am thrilled and glad 2020 is finally over with, as I am currently sitting on my desk writing this on the second day of 2021, I wanted to do my own 2020 recap of how 2020 was for me.

I believe that 2020 was a year of transformation, progress, and growth that I am proud of myself for making it through another year, but for once actually making it "My Year."

Okay, let's get this cheesy blog started. ;) on with the cheesy collages and month-by-month recap to relive this weird and terrible year once and for all. :)

January 2020

January. The first month of a new year. Ahh, little did she know what this year had in store for her.

For every year, it's the same. "New Year, New Goals and Resolutions."

For years, my new years resolutions always has been to lose weight and to get fit. It was always about trying to be more confident in myself and to hopefully find success and joy while doing it. This year, I really tried to put more effort in actually staying consistent and staying more dedicated of my weight loss journey.

In the beginning of 2020, I was not at my heaviest due to have already started to workout and be more active in the previous year, but I entered the year being disappointed that I did not manage to get to where I wanted to in the beginning of 2019. Therefore, entering 2020, I had that mindset of pulling my shit together and be more consistent in weight training and working out. I told myself that this would be the year that I will get to my happy place.

In the beginning of 2020, I was also at a place that I was struggling mentally. I was depressed. I had dealt with depression and anxiety for years of my life and hitting the end of 2019, I felt that I was at the worse moments of my life with depression and anxiety. I had another mindset entering 2020, that I wanted to work on my mental health and be more emotionally and mentally stable in my own relationship with myself and with others.

I put a lot of expectations to myself entering 2020, but I told myself that although it will get difficult, I will continue to fight and not give up.

***SPOILER ALERT: I DID NOT! ***

February 2020

February. The month before everything changed.

This month started off being a nice and simple month. It started off still going to campus. Being present in an actual classroom and still working with my sixth grade students. I went to my first Chinese New Year event, going to the club with my friends, and enjoying the rain and beauty in campus.

Everything was going off great... until I lost my job.

Long story short. I was working at an after school tutoring program working with sixth grade students. It became very difficult for my well-being and for my mental health that I ended up getting moved to a different school site from my supervisor. I mean it was probably one of the worst feelings getting separated away from my students, but it was for the best at the end.

This month was very difficult for my mental health and well-being. I was struggling a lot but I managed to still make great memories in this month while everything was still opened.

March 2020

March.... Oh boy.. where to begin.

Let's do a BEFORE to the stay at home orders and the pandemic occurring.

Before the stay at home orders were placed, I had my first photoshoot with a new photographer. We had a fun photoshoot where we both took pictures of each other for practice. I think this is when I started to realize I need more practice with photography but I know that I am very passionate about it and eager to learn more.

I also seeked therapy this month seeing how bad I was feeling with anxiety and depression after loosing my job at the school and feeling like I was a failure. For years I felt depressed and useless, and I think this downfall I had losing my job made it even worse. So I started to go to therapy and boy was it an experience.

And then it was the nightmare after stay at home orders...

March 13 was when everything closed down. No more showing up to campus. No more working at schools. No more normal.

It feels like just yesterday when we were mask-free and living our lives going to concerts and stores freely. But with COVID-19, it was just not possible.

The new normal was now working from home and going to ZOOM University.

It honesty was not surprising when everything shut down.. seeing how poorly our government and president was handling the situation prior to this whole pandemic but I don't want to get too political with this situation.

After a few weeks after the stay at home orders were ordered, the new normal was staying at home, continuing to work at Wendys (my job), and working out at the parks. I would become more active and focus on working on myself.

This is I did by running outside (three miles) and taking sunset pictures at the end.

April 2020

April. A time for Tik Toks, new adventures, and for endless views of sunsets.

April was the second month of continuing the stay at home orders. We were still isolated to stay at home and wear our masks in public. I was still working at Wendys but no longer at a school.

I took April as an opportunity and challenge to learn about self-love and self-confidence. I think this month I started to feel more confident in-spite of seeing weight loss progress in my body.

May 2020

May babyy...

May was a good month. I was starting to feel more empowered. I started to feel good mentally and physically. I started to feel good.

This month, I continued to go on new adventures and continue to work on my fitness journey.

I went hiking with my sister and her boyfriend to Whiskey Falls, CA.

This place was so beautiful and peaceful. The hike was overall easy and simple. I was expecting hard core mountains and steep rocks, but it was just a long trail that leaded us to view the waterfall.

In the middle of a pandemic, it was nice to leave the city. Go to the wilderness, away from people, and take a long relaxing hike.

I even made a small IGTV video that was really fun to make live on my Instagram. ;)

June 2020

JUNE BABY!! My birthday month.

The month, I started to feel like a bad bitch I am. I started to dress up and feel more confident during this month. I believe it was because I noticed how far I came with my weight loss that this month I started to feel even more confident with the outfits I wore.

First- the time I went to a party (even tho, I know I should not have gone since we are the middle of a pandemic and it was not responsible for me to do so). But let's look how I dressed up first.

It was actually really weird since I wore fake lashes for this party, and normally I don't wear that on a basis. I felt like a new bitch for sure on this day.

Next- the time I wore a fancy glittery dress. Now I had an excuse to dress like this because this was for my birthday... but damn I felt so pretty on this day. I don't know if it was the dress but for sure I was such in a good mindset on my birthday. I feel pretty sexy not gonna lie. ;)

Now June was a really special month for me. Not only was it my birth month and I turned 21, but it was also a month where I got braces and also bought myself a new damn car.

A new 2020 Toyota Camry LE. My baby. Can you guess the name? Her name is Rave. I am honesty so proud of myself for buying a brand new car.. like damn I freaken did it. Hard work does pay off.

June was honesty one of the best months of 2020 and no cap I felt so blessed and filled with joy ending the month on my birthday with my close friends.

July 2020

July started off great.

Spent the fifth at the lake with my family to celebrate my birthday.

Went hiking again on the tenth up at Millerton Lake with a friend.

Got a hair cut. New hair. New this.

I then sold my old car. I never named it because I did not want to get attached to it since I knew it was just temporarily but it was still such a memorable car and it was always be my first car. I learned to drive in it.

I then had a lake party where sadly not a lot of people showed up, but that's okay. I was still glad that a few people showed up.

I then continued to work out, go on runs, and continue to do Tik Toks.

I also did some photoshoots during this month and found a love for bucket hats.

August 2020

New bitch. Who this.

No but honesty. I think this was the month, I was at the lowest I had ever been in years. My confidence in these pictures were fire. I felt fire and empowered honesty.

Oh and bucket hats. Yes. I loved them and still do!

Honesty, I went out to a random public place, had my little tripod on my phone, and started to shoot photos of myself by myself, so yes anything you want to do, you can do by yourself.

I also started working at my new school job this month, and all I can say is this new school job I was placed at is way better and less toxic to my prior school site, so I believe everything happens for a reason.

This month, I also went on some dates but nothing too serious happened on those dates, but they were all great experiences that I learned from at the end.

September 2020

A lot happened during this month, but to keep it short. This was a month of exploration and creativity.

I learned a lot to let go and learned to not be afraid no more.

I learned to be more creative and explore my interests more without the worry of others judging me. I went to different new places and took pictures of myself by myself.

October 2020

Spooky Month but the best for photoshoots and pictures for the Instagram!

We were in seven months deep into the pandemic and I was still going out, spending money on coffee and just having fun. This was the first year I actually went to not only to one pumpkin patch to have photoshoots but two of them and the pictures came out soo cute! I still be obsessed with how cute they turned out to be.

November 2020

November.

I was still exploring my fashion creativity and still taking pictures. I still went out to new places and try new things such as coffee shops or local restaurants. I know it has not been the same since March but I think this year has lead me to be more open-minded and try new places and things. Things are changing in our lives, and I think we need to start seeing that change is very empowering and important in this world.

Even though, we were unable to be inside to dine in or go to clubs like we did before, I still enjoyed trying these new places I did this year. I learned how important it is to support local businesses. (New blog of local businesses in my city coming soon).

December 2020

A month I remembered how bad a bitch I am. The month I looked back how far I came.. not only in 2020 but through my last five and 10 years and see that I overcame so much in my life and look at me now. The happiest version I am. I fought through depression and through depression.

Looking how bad I was treated in the beginning of the year and how bad of a place I was during that time, to now seeing where I am at now. At a newer school location where I am treated right by my supervisors and staff. A place I can be myself and know I have the support I need to succeed at that school site.

I also developed a mindset that is so strong and healthy. I learned to love myself. I learned to not care about what others think of me. I will get judged no matter- but what makes life worth it is to continue living life how you want to live in it.

And for now, I am continuing to live no longer afraid of what I am capable of.